Spanx for nothin . . .

Dear Spanx,


I must say ~ You let me down a little last night.  No, really . . . You let me DOWN.  As in didn't hold me up/in as I fully expected you to do.  Like, really, I expected more out of the Lycra 'higher power' Bod-A-Bing you so proudly boast you offer for the post-baby-bodies I'm the proud owner of.  Besides the pulling and bunching of the girdle I so comfortable donned, from the side, I STILL was able to see a slight protruding of my mid-section I worked so hard to disguise.  Emphasis on the 'worked' part - as in, it took quite a bit of time, wiggling, heavily sucking in, and elbow grease just to squeeze into this gem of an over-priced piece of a full body Ace bandage.


Anyway, now you've forced me to do something I really don't feel like doing in this heat (other than putting on the underneath 'slimming' sweat-suit) -- Run.  On the one hand, I really don't want to end our relationship, because, at times - you've provided quite the confidence.  On the other,  I actually wouldn't mind just calling it quits with you altogether.  Please don't take it to heart . . . I just feel we need a break from each other . . . for permanent.  It'll be a joyous day indeed when I gather you and your Spanx friends from my drawers (sorry, I've been seeing a few others on the side, as well - just needed a little variety in my life, as did my thighs) and toss you all in the waste bin.  And bid you all good riddance.  Once and for all.


I'm sorry to have tell you this way - publicly - but, it just needed to be said.  And I'm already feeling better about my decision.  Again, don't take it personally . . . It's not you, it's me.  Really.


Off and running,






















A soon to be less jiggly, Eryn